me: i’m gonna eat paint for breakfast
Travis: i dunno it taste pretty bad
Travis: kinda like ear wax
Travis: or a battery
me: ear wax?? blagh
Travis: yeah i tried it once when i was a kid.
me: i licked my snot before when i was a kid, never ear wax
(photo credit: entdocs.com & whattoexpect.com)
My Facebook status:
I want a heaping mound of duck pate and layers of smoked duck prosciutto on a goddamn French baguette – with a side of fat juicy olives.
Cousin: damn that sounds good! are you pmsing?
ME: No, I’m just gamap. lol
Cousin: me too but that smoked duck prosciutto sounds hella good!
Gchat w/ ze boyfriend:
Kamron: hows your day going?
me: i’m craving all duck everything
juan’s peruvian style duck
me: have we decided when xmas brunch will be?
BFF: Hmm, I haven’t yet we should talk that over this evening
me: yeah. i told my mom about it. she sounded excited.
me: would this be our families hanging out together for the first time ever????? O_O
me: god i feel like we’re dating hahha
BFF: I think it would!!!!!
BFF: HAHAHAHA we are
BFF: the longest relationship of our lives
BFF: and we’re just bringing the families together hahaha
me: how long have we been friends?! don’t tell me its 20 yrs already O_O
BFF: hmm… if not 20 really close. how old are kids in 3rd grade?
me: like 8-9? okay maybe we have like another year or 2 before 20
Kim: lmao still that’s like 18 years! That’s like the time it takes to raise a child
me: AND IT’LL BE THE FIRST TIME OUR FAMILIES WILL HAVE HUNG OUT?! that’s horrible hahaha
Kim: HAHAHA omg that IS horrible!!
Sean: please explain why you’re posting GGW pics to facebook
me: huh? what’s ggw?
Sean: wasn’t there something about a fort
me: oh lol i uploaded that thing a while ago
Sean: why was that showing up on my feed this morning
me: I’m not sure. I noticed that 2 blank albums were created too. WEIRD!
Sean: thanks, facebook, for awkward conversations
me: hahahhaha but miemo and I did build a hotel fort in myrtle beach 😀
Sean: totes ggw
me: girls gone wild?
me: how?! omg no way!
Sean: yawn, did you delete it
me: yes I did. lol i don’t want ggw!
Sean: looks like the camera person got you drunk and seduced you into a hotel fort
me: LMAOOOOO no way.
Sean: *looked, since you took that shit down
me: when you said GGW i thought there was a boob or hooha shot. But then again i don’t have those kinda pix
Sean: hah no, that would have been funny and no guy would have ever mentioned that to you
me: good to know
Totes NOT GGW.