I enjoy grossing out my sister

Older sister:  fyi GWAR was in the paper today
me:  did they show the singer’s giant penis?
Older sister:  apparently some peeps are trying to put up a giant confederate flag
and someone said they should have gwar there and will scare them away
or something
Older sister: no……….
Older sister: why would they have that in the paper ..how is that even a question
me:  we got sprayed with his penis
Older sister:  you’re disgusting.
me:  green smegma and blood and the blood of jesus
Older sister:  i’m sure.
me:  and obama and dead babies

via: indyconcerts.com


Another G-Chat with BFF

me:  ya know my mind just did a weird thought within a thought within a memory.
me:  Just talking about NASA, then brain started singing “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith which was on the soundtrack of Armegeddon, which was also the song the chick had to sing when she got stuck blowin a dude in “The Sweetest Thing”
me:  and I’ll be goddamned if my daughter runs around singing “you’re too big to fit in here”
Kim:  OOOMG Vitya you need to go home now
me:  hahhahahahah
me:  we were like 16 singing that!!!!!!!! what the hell?!?!?!
Kim:  Hahahahaha I know that shit was mad inappropriate!!
me:  my brain hurts from all that
Kim:  lmaoooo
Kim:  I bet deary
Kim:  you deserve a 3PM break
me:  where’s my vodka?