Stings the Nostrils

Kamron:  this girl smells bad. it’s annoying me when she walks by
i hope it’s her underarms and not her pooter… -____-
me:  lmaooooooooo
Kamron:  it stiiiiinks. if its her vagina it means i’ve been smelling it
all day and it makes me want to vomit
me:  that’s disgusting

The Best Convo About Poop, EVER.

My facebook status: I need to regulate my bowels. NOLA done fucked it all up. Need to guzzle some ballerina tea tonight.
On FB: 
SEAN – Green Vibrance. Do it.
ME – you have a fee sampo?
on Gchat:
Sean:  what in the fuck is a fee sampo
me:  free sample
Sean:  i have some packets, yeah. its basically the best probiotic ever. take it at night with juice and MEGA POOPS next morning.
me:  That’s exactly what I need.
Sean:  i feel so awful when i dont take it
like, inhuman. death, groggy, full of awful
me:  do you take it everyday?
Sean:  yep. just 1 tbsp
me:  do you buy it online?
Sean:  yup, or vitamin store
me:  is it like a power shit or will i be on the toilet all morning?
Sean:  power shit
me:  nice
Sean:  though ive never been like… more than 10 seconds
me:  i usually take power shits. the food in new orleans has backed me up. the other girls were having the same problem and then we ate mcdonalds and we all had to shit like an hour later
Sean:  hah awful. thats why i hate going on vacation. i love the routine
me:  me too. i assumed the beer would help, but it just made me gassy and gassy w/ backed up poop is not cool.
Stay classy, y’all!

Life’s zooming…

Life’s zooming by. Big things are slowly happening…

I don’t know how you bloggers who have a full time job, family/sigs, and social life are able to keep up with this online stuff. I can tweet like a mad woman, but I can’t keep up with blogging to save my life.

I’ll get to it soon. I promise.


So I’m kind of an asshole, but a loving asshole


Sister:  it’s in tysons. $175 for 6 sessions
me:  holy crap balls. get it (for me)
Sister:  wth lol
me:  did u get it?
Sister:  lol are you forreal? i haven’t looked up reviews about the place. i can’t imagine it being bad, though at tysons. that is an expensive gift, my friend. lol bougie wants it too?
me:  but you love me. and i’m not your friend, i’m your sister.
Sister:  LMAO stfu
Sister: lol well look up the reviews and tell me what you think.
Sister: it’s for the “small” area only
Sister: so probably face and pits, not your down there
me:  i’ll buy my own down there
me:  I’m hairier than bougie. boug has no hair, except for her upper lip.