So I accidentally downloaded a virus on my work computer…

me:  poop

Kamron:  hey there

Kamron:  you’re back

me:  virus is gone

Kamron:  stop looking at tumblr porn

me:  i knoooooooooow lololol

me:   fap.com yo

Kamron:  the heck!

me:  did you click?!

me:  you weren’t suposed to

me:  it was just a joke

Kamron:  THOUGHT THAT WAS A JOKE SITE!

Kamron:  gah

me:  OOOOOOH MY GOD

me:  it was supposed to be a reference

me:  not a link for you to click

me:  hahahhahaha

Kamron:  all i saw was 8=========D~~~~~~~~~

me:  AAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

me:  hahahahhahahhaa

Kamron:  O_____________________o

Kamron:  glad nobody was walking past me

me:  i’m shaking really hard

Kamron:  ?

Kamron:  are you having a seizure?

me:  looks like it

me:  i can’t stop laughing

For the record- The virus didn’t come from Tumblr porn. It was from a work email. THANK YOU.

I’m a horrible human being.

 Sean:  just heard they’re now looking for multiple subjects

and he’s muslim

from chechnya

huge al qaeda ties there

my cousin is a police officer in boston

hope she’s doing ok

 me:  haven’t heard from her?

 Sean:  been watching her wall

but haven’t seen anything in 3hrs

 me:  hope she’s okay as well

 Sean:  she’s probably fucking

shit up

she’s manlier than me

 me:  LMAO sorry. I only read “she’s probably fucking” “she’s manlier than me”

O_O

 Sean:  hahah

I love my future baby daddy.

Kamron:  i’m afraid to have a girl. i’m gonna kill some little boys and young men when i’m older

me:  shotgun city

Kamron:  seriously, double pump action. i’m gonna get Deer Hunter on some kids

 

 

disclaimer: He’s not going to kill anyone. He doesn’t like killing bugs. Just good ol’ fashion fatherly scare tactics. 

Another Convo With My BFF

BFF:  I got my refund! woop woop!

BFF: And all but a couple hundred is going into my savings

me:  told ya! “Happy birthday! Love, America”

me:  in return, America wants stimulation

BFF:  thank’s ‘Merica!

BFF:  wait….

BFF:  what stimulation?

BFF: I can go buy some panties

BFF: stimulate that economy

me:  the economical vagina with your tax moneys

BFF:  LMAO I’ll also buy beer

BFF: so that’s all kinds of stimulation

BFF:  it’ll be your turn next

BFF:  what will you do to stimulate the economy

me:  stimulate Cambodia’s econ when i go make it rain there

me: it’s gonna be a monsoooooooon

BFF:  LMAO

Shanghai!

Reblogged from :

Shanghai pictures!

By far, WAY more fun than Beijing, it is a much younger city so everything was new and vibrant. The people seemed a bit less stressed out, more friendly and the sites were more like a modern metropolis and certainly less traditional than Beijing.

We enjoyed a ton of local food, people, sites and even scam artists! So enjoy some of the many photos from this half of our adventure.

WO AI Shang Hai!!!!!

Chat with my little sister

Little sister: are you seriously going to NY?

me:  yep

Little sister:  you’re never coming back

Little sister: lmao

Little sister: RIP

me:  its only gonna be 10-18 in lol

Little sister:  2 feet nigga

Little sister:  only 10-18 in? yeah and your driver is chinese…lmao good luck

There was this one time…

So after going numero uno at work, I look down to get ready to pull up my black pansu…

and couldn’t find it.

I can’t tell you how confused I was for about 10 seconds. There was slight panic.

Thoughts and weird scenarios ran through my head:

Did I forget to wear it? Did I choose to go Commando? No… wait. I remember putting a pair on and admiring my butt in the mirror earlier that morning.

Did I take it off some time between putting it on and getting to work? I do that sometimes… Don’t you?

Did I accidentally wear the edible ones and it disintegrated from the heat of my ass? Pretty sure I don’t own any.

Did Happosai, the perverted pansu thief from Ranma 1/2, appear out of thin air and snatch it when I wasn’t looking? Yeah, that’s it… That dirty fuck.

I KNOW! I’m pretty sure the boyfriend somehow telepathically teleported ‘em. Check his pockets. Right? Impossible. Scratch that idea.

Where the hell did it go?

I look again. The damn thing blended in with my black pants and got lost in the mix.

My heart rate regulated and the color returned to my face. I look around as if there could have been a witness to one of my derp-ist moments of all time.

No one? Cool.

We are all adults here, people.

gchat w/ Travis:

me:  i’m gonna eat paint for breakfast

Travis:  i dunno it taste pretty bad

Travis: kinda like ear wax

Travis: or a battery

me:  ear wax?? blagh

Travis:  yeah i tried it once when i was a kid.

me:  LOLOL

me:  i licked my snot before when i was a kid, never ear wax

 

(photo credit: entdocs.com & whattoexpect.com)

Gamap in Khmer = fat

My Facebook status:

I want a heaping mound of duck pate and layers of smoked duck prosciutto on a goddamn French baguette – with a side of fat juicy olives.

Comments:

Cousin: damn that sounds good! are you pmsing?

ME: No, I’m just gamap. lol

Cousin: me too but that smoked duck prosciutto sounds hella good!

(credit: Zagat)

Gchat w/ ze boyfriend:

Kamron:  hows your day going?

me:  i’m craving all duck everything

pate

prosciutto

confit

crispy skin

taro duck

roast duck

juan’s peruvian style duck

peking duck

duck blood

duck tongue

duck eggs

A Convo With My BFF

me:  have we decided when xmas brunch will be?

BFF:  Hmm, I haven’t yet we should talk that over this evening

me:  yeah. i told my mom about it. she sounded excited.

me:  would this be our families hanging out together for the first time ever????? O_O

me:  god i feel like we’re dating hahha

BFF:  I think it would!!!!!

me:  hahhahah

BFF:  HAHAHAHA we are

me:  <3

BFF:  the longest relationship of our lives

me:  damn right!

BFF:  and we’re just bringing the families together hahaha

me:  agh that’s hilarious

BFF:  ^_^

me:  how long have we been friends?! don’t tell me its 20 yrs already O_O

BFF:  hmm… if not 20 really close. how old are kids in 3rd grade?

me:  like 8-9? okay maybe we have like another year or 2 before 20

Kim:  lmao still that’s like 18 years! That’s like the time it takes to raise a child

 me:  AND IT’LL BE THE FIRST TIME OUR FAMILIES WILL HAVE HUNG OUT?! that’s horrible hahaha

 Kim:  HAHAHA omg that IS horrible!!