Stings the Nostrils

Kamron:  this girl smells bad. it’s annoying me when she walks by

i hope it’s her underarms and not her pooter… -____-

me:  lmaooooooooo

Kamron:  it stiiiiinks. if its her vagina it means i’ve been smelling it

all day and it makes me want to vomit

me:  that’s disgusting

Tags: body odor, armpits, vagina, vomit, stank

The Best Convo About Poop, EVER.

My facebook status: I need to regulate my bowels. NOLA done fucked it all up. Need to guzzle some ballerina tea tonight.

 

On FB: 

SEAN - Green Vibrance. Do it.

ME - you have a fee sampo?

 

on Gchat:

Sean:  what in the fuck is a fee sampo

me:  free sample

Sean:  i have some packets, yeah. its basically the best probiotic ever. take it at night with juice and MEGA POOPS next morning.

me:  That’s exactly what I need.

Sean:  i feel so awful when i dont take it

like, inhuman. death, groggy, full of awful

me:  do you take it everyday?

Sean:  yep. just 1 tbsp

me:  do you buy it online?

Sean:  yup, or vitamin store

me:  is it like a power shit or will i be on the toilet all morning?

Sean:  power shit

me:  nice

Sean:  though ive never been like… more than 10 seconds

me:  i usually take power shits. the food in new orleans has backed me up. the other girls were having the same problem and then we ate mcdonalds and we all had to shit like an hour later

Sean:  hah awful. thats why i hate going on vacation. i love the routine

me:  me too. i assumed the beer would help, but it just made me gassy and gassy w/ backed up poop is not cool.

 

Stay classy, y’all!

 

-V

Tags: fee sampo, poop, power shits, probiotics

Bulletproof Vests and Camo Cargo Shorts

me: Not sure if Kam will be in town that weekend, but if he is, you should def hit him up.
Sean: def, but all is still 98% tentative. speaking of 98%, did you listen to 98°?
me: hahahha no. i didn’t like them
me: they were too “manly” for me?
Sean: ew. no.

 

[always and forever an 'Nsync fan]

Life’s zooming…

Life’s zooming by. Big things are slowly happening…

I don’t know how you bloggers who have a full time job, family/sigs, and social life are able to keep up with this online stuff. I can tweet like a mad woman, but I can’t keep up with blogging to save my life.

I’ll get to it soon. I promise.

xoxo

Gotta love her…

me: http://tlmonde.tumblr.com/cambodia-clutch

what color should i get????

Boug: what the…?! you are supporting sweatshops!

me: are you gonna make it?

Boug: get me the second to last, the salmon color!

me: this girl… lolol

Boug: or the teal! graduation gift! HAAAAAAAAAAY!

me: THIS GIRL!

Boug: THANKS

**These clutches were not made in sweatshops.**

So I’m kind of an asshole, but a loving asshole

Sister:  http://www.groupon.com/deals/tlc-medispa-3?c=button&sid=11169487&utm_campaign=tlc-medispa-3&s=body&division=washington-dc&utm_content=all-deals_washington-dc_ddo_highlight_4&date=20120508&utm_source=newsletter&p=1&utm_medium=email&addxe=T05HSU5OQEdNQUlMLkNPTQ==&user=06aee50fdf805ba286a8f21054747fe2aaef1086038f141d69b4ec7a9be5f544

Sister:  it’s in tysons. $175 for 6 sessions

me:  holy crap balls. get it (for me)

Sister:  wth lol

me:  did u get it?

Sister:  lol are you forreal? i haven’t looked up reviews about the place. i can’t imagine it being bad, though at tysons. that is an expensive gift, my friend. lol bougie wants it too?

me:  but you love me. and i’m not your friend, i’m your sister.

Sister:  LMAO stfu

Sister: lol well look up the reviews and tell me what you think.

Sister: it’s for the “small” area only

Sister: so probably face and pits, not your down there

me:  i’ll buy my own down there

me:  I’m hairier than bougie. boug has no hair, except for her upper lip.

Tags: lazer hair removal, love, Sisters

Working On My Fitness

RAWR!

So I’m back on my fitness game. I had a slow start; but with summer around the corner, there’s no time to waste! Trying to shed this winter coat and tone up, I’ve kicked it up a notch.

I have a gym membership at Planet Fitness. I do light to moderate cardio to warm myself up then workout on the weight machines about 3-4 days a week. Each day, a different muscle group, followed by core work and then stretch cool down.  There’s one close to Kam’s apartment I can bike to and workout at when I’m in Brooklyn!

I also do Kazaxe - which I absolutely love. I do that twice a week. Can’t beat $5/class and a damn good time.

I always always ALWAYS stretch. Flexibility is very important. It also keeps things interesting in the boudoir.

My sisters, cousin and I recently got a Living Social deal for 10 cardio kickboxing classes at NOVA MMA, so I’m going to somehow incorporate that into my routine. I did the intro class on Sunday and it kicked my butt!

As I mentioned before, MY BIKE! I love that thing. Can’t wait to ride it around the city and on the trails! First, I have to get over my fear of sharing the road with vehicles going 50 mph in the neighborhoods. NYC may be more bike friendly than the DMV, but I’ve heard too many stories of people who’ve gotten hit by cars.

ANYWAY!

I enjoy working out and enjoy it even more when others around me are too. I need motivation to keep going and push hard, not temptation to put off a workout till tomorrow. So with that said, I’m glad to have friends to workout and share this experience with me. I thank you.

I don’t really have a goal and I’m happy with my body shape – I’m a thick girl with curves for days. I love the burn, the sweat (and sweaty boobs), and the energy I get from exercising. It’s a great feeling.

To everyone gettin’ their body and insides right, cheers to your health.